When Darling Wife's parents were here for Thanksgiving, they took us out for dinner one night to a wonderful restaurant that is a hot spot in our small, university city. The night was a little chilly but nothing compared to the frigid temps where the in-laws live, so we decided to eat on the establishment's outdoor patio. They had gas-powered patio heaters and an enormous fire that was lovely and warm. The food was tasty and moderately priced, and the service was excellent.
Our waiter, a young man named Neil, was both attentive and personable. At first, we were the only customers on the patio, so he gladly lingered at our table to chat, not intrusively, but easily. In answer to a question posed by DW's mother, he mentioned that he was leaving after his shift to drive home for Thanksgiving. Since he didn't consider our city his home, this indicated that he was more than likely a student at the university. Consequently, we talked companionably for a bit about his major and imminent graduation, and then he asked us if we were affiliated with the university. When DW said that she and I were, he looked at me and asked, "Professor?"
"Used to be... sort of," I responded.
Neil nodded sagely and said, "I thought so. You have the look."
Now, we all know that look, don't we? Anyone who has been at an institution of higher education for any length of time learns to recognize an academic on sight, whether she's in t-shirt and jeans or he's in khakis and a sports jacket. It something that is partly made up of clothing choice and hair styles, but there is an indescribable something that is deeper than that. It's a way of expressing oneself in language, both body and verbal, and a look in the eye that somehow equates to knowledge comfortably held. An academic might almost be said to wear his or her knowledge like an old sweater; it is familiar, casual, and integral to his or her being in some intangible way. I've never really tried to sum it up before, but I knew what Neil meant.
Still, I have given up that profession... or rather the pursuit of it. And I wonder, will I always "have the look," or will it fade in time? And how exactly should I feel about it either way?
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3 comments:
So what do you think's the correlation between 'the look' and actual work in academia... 'cause I've been told I don't have 'the look'...
I don't think it's a bad thing, necessarily. It just means you look edumacated.
Michele, I'd say you look too good to be an academic. You don't have that slightly eccentric, jaded, and big-headed look that distinguishes the breed by and large. You should be glad you don't have "the look."
At the same time, TWP, I don't consider it a bad thing. Honestly, it suits me, and I think of it as a sort of compliment. But I also feel a little like a counterfeit now that I am no longer in the academy. I am torn between wanting to keep "the look" and wanting to distance myself from it. This issue just shines a light on my bigger identity crisis.
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