Biorhythms

Every year at this time of year, I get a little... er.... I don't know what to call it. When I lived in TN, it always manifested as an extremely strong desire to go somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as it wasn't the South. The important part was that it had to be spontaneous. You know, just get up one morning, walk out of my apartment door, get in my car, and drive until I got tired of driving. No packing, no destination, no itinerary, no notice. Just leave.

Now after years of moving around, this feeling takes on a different form, I have a profound desire to go home... even if I'm not sure where that is. First I think Boston. Then London. Then my grandparent's farm. What about New Orleans? It's springtime there, and the jasmine will be in bloom. I even think back to Darling Wife's home town and consider that. We had such a good time at Antietam with her parents over Christmas 2006. (Yeah, I know. Bloody battlefield, good times... It isn't exactly an automatic pairing, but the place was originally and still is some pretty spectacular farm land with rolling hills and a lot of history... and it's only about an hour-to-an hour and a half from D.C.) That could be fun again.

I recognize, of course, that the place is really not the issue. I just feel this overwhelming need to escape. When I'm stressed, I want to escape from my worries. When I'm not, I want to escape from my boredom. Right now, it's both. I have a lot of work to do, but none of it is exciting. I can't leave because I have too much to do, but I don't WANT to do any of it. So I feel dissatisfied and trapped, which only makes the feeling worse.

Some of this feeling transfers to DW, who seems less affected by it than me at first but eventually admits a little fellow sentiment. But this is one of those occasions in which misery does not love company. When she starts to succumb, it just makes it harder for me to ignore the mounting flight response. Wild abandonment is knocking at the door, and duty and responsibility are such feeble words to combat it with.

I think most people feel this way at some time or another, and I believe this is a particularly infectious season. Cabin Fever they used to call it. We may no longer live in cabins, but I think computers and cubicles are worse.