Will You Not Shed a Tear?

I named my PC "Glorfindel." To those steeped in the lore of Tolkien, this name may not be unfamiliar to your eyes. But to those who have never ventured into the complex worlds of this master dreamweaver, let me assure you that this is a name to conjure with. Glorfindel was an elf lord of the Eldar who returned to Middle Earth from the Undying Lands, a journey never undertaken by other being, to help Frodo escape from the Nazgul and come within the protecting sway of the elves of Rivendell in Fellowship of the Ring. (This role was usurped by Arwen Undomiel in the film.) Glorfindel is powerful and good, and I had hope that bestowing this name upon my mechanical servant would render it some manner of protection.

But alas, some two days ago, a friend reached across cyberspace and time to send me a video file. This file contained a music video filmed in his new soundstage in my old hometown, and he desired my opinion of it. Glorfindel informed me that I needed a certain codec to view the file, and I went speedily in pursuit of it. In my haste and poor judgment, I discovered what I believed to be the sought after element and gave it to Glorfindel.

Woe and destruction followed, for the thing I had unearthed was not the codec I mistook it for but a foul fiend of the abyss. Harken unto me, friends, and harken well. Know you that this fiend is called Antispyware 2008, and it is a most fell beast. Test it not. Touch it not. But avoid it with all your might unless you long for a life of peril and death.

This grievous foe latched onto Glorfindel with the swiftness of birds in flight and the strength of a cave troll. Like a guard asleep at the castle gates, my virus-protection software recognized it not until it was well beyond the reach of the defenses, wreaking horrible damage upon all that crossed its path.

I hastily procured the services of a mercenary by the name of Antimalware, available at Malwarebytes.org, and he succeeded in utterly destroying the enemy. But it was too late. Glorfindel has suffered a mortal wound that is beyond my powers to heal.

Fortunately, he was able to hold himself together long enough to allow me to save the precious cargo he carries, but his memory must be wiped and his operating system reinstalled. He will no longer be recognizable as the companion of my recent years. I am most cast down. A moment of indiscretion and folly has brought the ruin of all that he and I had built together.

It is a gray day, my friends. Please, lament with us.